Thursday, September 29
> I miss my friends, so damn much.
I know i just typed an entry about an hour ago. But im so bored right now and i feel a sudden need to pen down what's on my mind. I couldnt get to sleep despite lying on the bed for about half an hour, incessantly reminding myself that i ought to get into a deep snooze to replenish my lost of beauty sleep for the past nights. Yet, my eyes were wide open and refused to close no matter how hard i try to. The longest my eyes were shut were approximately 5 seconds.
Im feeling a little feverish but yet the thermometer says that im not having fever. I think its spoilt, or is it just me? I still feel like puking and i can almost feel a fishball stucked at my throat. Should i go puke it out? Maybe i'll just let it remain as where it is, if its there.
Im sorry, i dont really know what ive just typed in the above. Pardon me for the randomness. Im just trying to get myself sleepy. Im physically tired but mentally awake. And this is bad, i gotta wake up at 1pm tomorrow!!
My main objective is to say that i miss a hell lot of people right now and i feel an urgent need to meet up with all of them if time permits. I miss Shalyn, and yay we'll be meeting next Saturday for your post birthday celebration. -starts singing "Best Friends" by Toybox-
I miss my barbies so damn much. But do they miss me too? I wonder. hmmmm.. Wanna hit the shopping mall, kbox and sentosa with you barbies asap. And damn, i cant make it for the sentosa getaway with barbies this Friday cos of the camp. BOOHOO. I need an update of you barbies so desperately. Im feeling a gap within you and me! NO WAY!!
I miss Kelvin Ling! and Zhenjie! and Eleanor! and Valerie and the whole bunch of you BSC peeps. I miss the nonsense and laughters, miss the ticklings and pokings and everything! You peeps take care while you spend your time doing SIP aye? Pleaseeee, call me out soon! I so miss all of you. Really.
I miss my Gmethss Faith 4/3 classmates. All of you! Those having A's, all the best yea? And those in polys, have great fun during the holidays! Lets have our 2nd class gathering soon after A's are over! Class monitor, please take note. Wakkakaka.
I miss my GB girls. Eunice, Jinli, Sabrina, Sizhu, JingPing, Chewlian etc etc etc. I wanna yak yak yak with you girls non stop and tease each other till we go bonkers. Eunice and Jinli, get over with your A's quickly!! Somebody, please plan an outing. I CANT WAIT TO SEE YOU GIRLIES!
And of course, i miss my boy. kua kua kua.
I know i just typed an entry about an hour ago. But im so bored right now and i feel a sudden need to pen down what's on my mind. I couldnt get to sleep despite lying on the bed for about half an hour, incessantly reminding myself that i ought to get into a deep snooze to replenish my lost of beauty sleep for the past nights. Yet, my eyes were wide open and refused to close no matter how hard i try to. The longest my eyes were shut were approximately 5 seconds.
Im feeling a little feverish but yet the thermometer says that im not having fever. I think its spoilt, or is it just me? I still feel like puking and i can almost feel a fishball stucked at my throat. Should i go puke it out? Maybe i'll just let it remain as where it is, if its there.
Im sorry, i dont really know what ive just typed in the above. Pardon me for the randomness. Im just trying to get myself sleepy. Im physically tired but mentally awake. And this is bad, i gotta wake up at 1pm tomorrow!!
My main objective is to say that i miss a hell lot of people right now and i feel an urgent need to meet up with all of them if time permits. I miss Shalyn, and yay we'll be meeting next Saturday for your post birthday celebration. -starts singing "Best Friends" by Toybox-
I miss my barbies so damn much. But do they miss me too? I wonder. hmmmm.. Wanna hit the shopping mall, kbox and sentosa with you barbies asap. And damn, i cant make it for the sentosa getaway with barbies this Friday cos of the camp. BOOHOO. I need an update of you barbies so desperately. Im feeling a gap within you and me! NO WAY!!
I miss Kelvin Ling! and Zhenjie! and Eleanor! and Valerie and the whole bunch of you BSC peeps. I miss the nonsense and laughters, miss the ticklings and pokings and everything! You peeps take care while you spend your time doing SIP aye? Pleaseeee, call me out soon! I so miss all of you. Really.
I miss my Gmethss Faith 4/3 classmates. All of you! Those having A's, all the best yea? And those in polys, have great fun during the holidays! Lets have our 2nd class gathering soon after A's are over! Class monitor, please take note. Wakkakaka.
I miss my GB girls. Eunice, Jinli, Sabrina, Sizhu, JingPing, Chewlian etc etc etc. I wanna yak yak yak with you girls non stop and tease each other till we go bonkers. Eunice and Jinli, get over with your A's quickly!! Somebody, please plan an outing. I CANT WAIT TO SEE YOU GIRLIES!
And of course, i miss my boy. kua kua kua.
sealed-with-a-kiss < 1:30:00 am
___________________________________________
> Updates.
Ive been too busy with work and dance lately. I havent had a proper conversation with my parent for quite a while besides some dialogues exchanged like "im working full shift tomorrow", "i wont be back so early", "im going out now", "cook lunch for me dad" and "make honey drink for me every night mom". Dont even have the leisure to get them to buy me a pair of birkenstock as a reward since they felt that ive done well in my examination.
How pathetic can it get when i only ate dinner once at home with my family in the last 2 weeks since work started? Im like treating my house as a hotel and my room is the only place where i frequent. I havent been playing and fooling around with Ebony as well.
Met up with Weiquan on Monday. Like finally finally, i can get some retail therapy. But we didnt really shop much. I only got myself a pair of golden pumps ive been trying to get since i dontknowwhen. Didnt really like it though, but whatever lah, need it for work as well. So, we met at my place and headed down to Suntec to purchase it. Walked around, headed to Bugis then to town where Denise saw me at Cineleisure just as we were about to leave and walk over to Taka. What a coincidence! So, Denise, Celine, Weiquan, Bird, Spermy, Rene, Teddy and i had dinner at the foodcourt and then the girls chilled around at Cafe Cartel Plaza Singapure while the guys went to play pool.
Cant wait to get myself busk under the sun next Wednesday at Edwin's house! weeeee. Im so freaking fair now lah, how?!?!
I missed 2 weeks of dance class with Waiyee. DAMN!! Next week is the last lesson already! DAMN!! And i thought that tomorrow i could sleep till 2.30pm before i prepare myself back to school for street jazz practice but i just remembered ive a facial appointment at 2pm! Now i gotta wake up at 1pm. Boooooo.
Wouldnt be home on Friday night because there's a dance camp. A bit sian, yet a bit excited. I hope there's salsa!
I havent been eating well these days too. No money to buy lunch and dinner everyday. I only have 50 bucks allowance a week leh! Dad, its time to increase my allowance!! So ive been visiting Giant supermarket quite frequently. Stocked up on packet drinks, Kong Guan biscuits (wooo my favourite plain crackers) and cup noodles. That's for my lunch and dinner daily while i work. How pathetic right?!
Sigh sigh, then i think back. While i worked at Ebase Parkway more than a year ago. Edmund will bring me out on his motorbike for proper food after work daily without fail. But then again, its the past so shuttup Amber and to hell with the past.
Now, i feel like vomitting. How ah?
Ive been too busy with work and dance lately. I havent had a proper conversation with my parent for quite a while besides some dialogues exchanged like "im working full shift tomorrow", "i wont be back so early", "im going out now", "cook lunch for me dad" and "make honey drink for me every night mom". Dont even have the leisure to get them to buy me a pair of birkenstock as a reward since they felt that ive done well in my examination.
How pathetic can it get when i only ate dinner once at home with my family in the last 2 weeks since work started? Im like treating my house as a hotel and my room is the only place where i frequent. I havent been playing and fooling around with Ebony as well.
Met up with Weiquan on Monday. Like finally finally, i can get some retail therapy. But we didnt really shop much. I only got myself a pair of golden pumps ive been trying to get since i dontknowwhen. Didnt really like it though, but whatever lah, need it for work as well. So, we met at my place and headed down to Suntec to purchase it. Walked around, headed to Bugis then to town where Denise saw me at Cineleisure just as we were about to leave and walk over to Taka. What a coincidence! So, Denise, Celine, Weiquan, Bird, Spermy, Rene, Teddy and i had dinner at the foodcourt and then the girls chilled around at Cafe Cartel Plaza Singapure while the guys went to play pool.
Cant wait to get myself busk under the sun next Wednesday at Edwin's house! weeeee. Im so freaking fair now lah, how?!?!
I missed 2 weeks of dance class with Waiyee. DAMN!! Next week is the last lesson already! DAMN!! And i thought that tomorrow i could sleep till 2.30pm before i prepare myself back to school for street jazz practice but i just remembered ive a facial appointment at 2pm! Now i gotta wake up at 1pm. Boooooo.
Wouldnt be home on Friday night because there's a dance camp. A bit sian, yet a bit excited. I hope there's salsa!
I havent been eating well these days too. No money to buy lunch and dinner everyday. I only have 50 bucks allowance a week leh! Dad, its time to increase my allowance!! So ive been visiting Giant supermarket quite frequently. Stocked up on packet drinks, Kong Guan biscuits (wooo my favourite plain crackers) and cup noodles. That's for my lunch and dinner daily while i work. How pathetic right?!
Sigh sigh, then i think back. While i worked at Ebase Parkway more than a year ago. Edmund will bring me out on his motorbike for proper food after work daily without fail. But then again, its the past so shuttup Amber and to hell with the past.
Now, i feel like vomitting. How ah?
sealed-with-a-kiss < 12:16:00 am
___________________________________________
Saturday, September 24
> Great catching up session!
I had a great catching up session with Sherman (Babu) and Leonard (Ah Chai) today in town. We met at about 4.30pm in town and chilled over at N.Y.D.C Heerens, sipping on our elephantchinno (spellcheck?) and mushroom madness pizza for more than 2 hours. It has been a few long years since we met up. I guess the last time we had a proper met up session was when i was 16? That's like 2 years ago! Oh gawd..time flies.
Now, Babu is in the police force while Ah Chai is serving the nation, prolly going into Civil Defence to be a firefighter. Of cos, i didnt miss the opportunity to take a picture with both of em but ive totally no idea why i cant send the mms to my email. Hence, i cant upload em here. =( Babu still look as good looking as ever (be happy that i compliment you hor! Sg Edison Chen? Wahahha) and Ah Chai is botak!
Then, David, Leo, Derrick and Jerick came over to join us and boy, i felt so glad for them for they could finally meet up too! Its been long since they saw each other. Hmmm.. that reminds me, Cliff is releasing from KBC soon! YAY! Miss him quite a bit. Cant wait for him to be released. Hopefully, he had turned over a new leaf. weeeeeee =)
Babu and Ah Chai left earlier and i joined the rest of the guys for dinner and chilled around in the hotel room that Xiao Hei had booked. They went Liquid Room after that and i headed home. Working full shift tomorrow! DAMN.
Oh, yesterday i met up with Shalyn for dinner at Tampines S11 after my dance practice. Then there is this man who looks like a murderer and we kinda got freaked out by him cos he kept staring at us and following us. Its really freaky and we didnt dare to leave the place although it was only close to 11pm at night. Shalyn called Kevin to whine and complain while i did the same by calling Weiquan. wakakaka. But that 'murderer' left after we made the phonecall so we left the place in peace. Home sweet home aftermath.
Okay i made a mistake by saying i'll be featured in the Business School newsletter. Its something even more! Take a look at this email i received from the corporate communications department of TP.
Hi Amber,
As spoken, your course manager, Sor Hwa, has nominated you to represent the Diploma in Accountancy & Finance in the next issue of T's magazine. Our theme for the issue is "TP - The Place To Be!". T's goes out to secondary school leavers (those who've just taken their "O" levels), and it'd be great if you could show them that TP is a vibrant, lively place where they can get a great polytechnic education
Try to give honest, insightful answers that are relevant and will appeal to 15-17 year-old students (our target audience, who are deciding where to further their studies). What you say will help promote TP and your diploma to over 80,000 readers, so make it as interesting as you can.
and i had to answer questions like these :
1) Why did you choose your course?
2) What do you like best about your course?
3) Share with us some opportunities/unforgettable experiences you've had at TP.
4) What are some valuable lessons you've learnt at TP?
5) How is poly life different from secondary school?
6) Tell us more about what you do in your free time/Share one of your hobbies with our readers.
7) Any advice for those considering poly education in TP?
Iyo, headache lah! Had a hard time thinking of what to write. Oh wait a minute, im not being too boastful over here right?! Wakkaka. Its a rare opportunity lah! Mom just told me that my brother is interested in furthering his studies in SMU as he's gonna ORD soon in a few more days. Its a perplexed feeling im having. I know i ought to be happy for him (that's if he managed to get a place in SMU), yet, im not so happy because ive no idea if my parents is financially abled to send me to the university too. Especially when dad is not working now, and only my mom is capable of supporting the family with 5 members + 1 dog. What happens if i cant enter the local university? Are they able to support me financially for overseas university? Booo. =(
I had a great catching up session with Sherman (Babu) and Leonard (Ah Chai) today in town. We met at about 4.30pm in town and chilled over at N.Y.D.C Heerens, sipping on our elephantchinno (spellcheck?) and mushroom madness pizza for more than 2 hours. It has been a few long years since we met up. I guess the last time we had a proper met up session was when i was 16? That's like 2 years ago! Oh gawd..time flies.
Now, Babu is in the police force while Ah Chai is serving the nation, prolly going into Civil Defence to be a firefighter. Of cos, i didnt miss the opportunity to take a picture with both of em but ive totally no idea why i cant send the mms to my email. Hence, i cant upload em here. =( Babu still look as good looking as ever (be happy that i compliment you hor! Sg Edison Chen? Wahahha) and Ah Chai is botak!
Then, David, Leo, Derrick and Jerick came over to join us and boy, i felt so glad for them for they could finally meet up too! Its been long since they saw each other. Hmmm.. that reminds me, Cliff is releasing from KBC soon! YAY! Miss him quite a bit. Cant wait for him to be released. Hopefully, he had turned over a new leaf. weeeeeee =)
Babu and Ah Chai left earlier and i joined the rest of the guys for dinner and chilled around in the hotel room that Xiao Hei had booked. They went Liquid Room after that and i headed home. Working full shift tomorrow! DAMN.
Oh, yesterday i met up with Shalyn for dinner at Tampines S11 after my dance practice. Then there is this man who looks like a murderer and we kinda got freaked out by him cos he kept staring at us and following us. Its really freaky and we didnt dare to leave the place although it was only close to 11pm at night. Shalyn called Kevin to whine and complain while i did the same by calling Weiquan. wakakaka. But that 'murderer' left after we made the phonecall so we left the place in peace. Home sweet home aftermath.
Okay i made a mistake by saying i'll be featured in the Business School newsletter. Its something even more! Take a look at this email i received from the corporate communications department of TP.
Hi Amber,
As spoken, your course manager, Sor Hwa, has nominated you to represent the Diploma in Accountancy & Finance in the next issue of T's magazine. Our theme for the issue is "TP - The Place To Be!". T's goes out to secondary school leavers (those who've just taken their "O" levels), and it'd be great if you could show them that TP is a vibrant, lively place where they can get a great polytechnic education
Try to give honest, insightful answers that are relevant and will appeal to 15-17 year-old students (our target audience, who are deciding where to further their studies). What you say will help promote TP and your diploma to over 80,000 readers, so make it as interesting as you can.
and i had to answer questions like these :
1) Why did you choose your course?
2) What do you like best about your course?
3) Share with us some opportunities/unforgettable experiences you've had at TP.
4) What are some valuable lessons you've learnt at TP?
5) How is poly life different from secondary school?
6) Tell us more about what you do in your free time/Share one of your hobbies with our readers.
7) Any advice for those considering poly education in TP?
Iyo, headache lah! Had a hard time thinking of what to write. Oh wait a minute, im not being too boastful over here right?! Wakkaka. Its a rare opportunity lah! Mom just told me that my brother is interested in furthering his studies in SMU as he's gonna ORD soon in a few more days. Its a perplexed feeling im having. I know i ought to be happy for him (that's if he managed to get a place in SMU), yet, im not so happy because ive no idea if my parents is financially abled to send me to the university too. Especially when dad is not working now, and only my mom is capable of supporting the family with 5 members + 1 dog. What happens if i cant enter the local university? Are they able to support me financially for overseas university? Booo. =(
sealed-with-a-kiss < 11:01:00 pm
___________________________________________
Friday, September 23
> Club MoMo
MoMo last night was totally crowded and packed. The music was good, the place was huge, the crowd was not that nice and it was so sardine-packed i was standing and just swaying most of the time instead of really dancing and grooving to the music. Still, good night nonetheless.
I met many friends there, people i didnt thought i would see and people whom i hope to bump into. Let me try to recall as much as i can who i saw. Jem, Kenneth and i met up at the train station and headed down, met Daniel, saw Celine and Hazel so we headed down to MoMo together. Reached there, saw Jingyang, then Adeline the shortie. Angie and friends came soon after.
In the club, i saw Kenneth from Tao Nan. Oh boy, he slimed down even more! Then i saw Kerson and Marcus, danced together for awhile and they went to get drinks. Ray and his friends were around Celine, Hazel and I so we danced together. Marcel came soon after. Dance dance dance, saw Shun Xiong and JiJi, almost couldnt remember JiJi man. The crowd was really pushy, we had a hard time squeezing in and out of the dance floor. Oh, the toilet was really spacious and comfortable. Like 3 or 4 couches to rest and big full length mirrors. I love it!
I saw Lynn Tan after that, together with Jakiel, Kok Liong, Charleston and friends. Oh and i saw my one and only lucky star, Jeffrey. He was really high and blur by then. Didnt manage to take a picture. Hmm, meet up soon before you go NS ok? * =) Nicky and friends were there too, so was Ang Bin, Weihao and Aik. Oh and i saw Gabriel and his girlfriend.
Cant really remember who else i saw already, despite the huge space i still managed to see so many people, wee!! Towards the end, i was dancing with Celine, Hazel, Kerson, Marcus and some other guys we got to know in the club. Didnt talk much to them though. Kerson, Marcus and I shared a cab home at about 3.30am. I was dead tired and so i gave Sentosa this morning a miss.
Woke up this morning with a shock because i received my results. I thought it would oly be out tomorrow! Okay as expected, i didnt get all As and i was quite disappointed about it. Still, dad felt i already did really well and so i should be glad. Hmm..here's what i got:
Business Finance - A
Computerised Accounting System - B+
Cost & Management Accounting 1 - A
Partnership & Company Accounts - A
Legal Aspects of Business - Distinction
Aight, time to head down to school for dance practice and meet my bestie Shalyn for dinner tonight. Would be meeting Sherman tomorrow for lunch before attending the dance performance help in Hougang. Cant wait to see him, it has been a few long years since we last met!
Oh, have i already mentioned that im totally obsessed with this song?
Mariah Carey - We Belong Together
I didn't mean it
When I said I didn't love you, so
I should have held on tight
I never shoulda let you go
I didn't know nothing
I was stupid, I was foolish
I was lying to myself
I could not fathom that I would ever
Be without your love
Never imagined I'd beSitting here beside myself
Cause I didn't know you
Cause I didn't know me
But I thought I knew everything
I never felt
The feeling that I'm feeling
Now that I don't hear your voice
Or have your touch and kiss your lips
Cause I don't have a choice
Oh, what I wouldn't give
To have you lying by my side
Right here, cause baby(We belong together)
[chorus]
When you left I lost a part of me
It's still so hard to believe
Come back baby, please
Cause we belong together
Who else am I gon' lean on
When times get rough
Who's gonna talk to me on the phone
Till the sun comes up
Who's gonna take your place
There ain't nobody better
Oh, baby baby, we belong together
I can't sleep at night
When you are on my mind
Bobby Womack's on the radio
Saying to me"If you think you're lonely now"
Wait a minute
This is too deep (too deep)
I gotta change the station
So I turn the dial
Trying to catch a break
And then I hear Babyface
"I only think of you"
And it's breaking my heart
I'm trying to keep it together
But I'm falling apart
I'm feeling all out of my element
I'm throwing things, crying
Trying to figure out
Where the hell I went wrong
The pain reflected in this song
It ain't even half of what
I'm feeling insideI need you
Need you back in my life, baby
[chorus]
When you left I lost a part of me
It's still so hard to believe
Come back baby, please
Cause we belong together
Who else am I gon' lean on
When times get rough
Who's gonna talk to me on the phone
Till the sun comes up
Who's gonna take your place
There ain't nobody better
Oh, baby baby, we belong together, baby
[chorus]
When you left I lost a part of me
It's still so hard to believe
Come back baby, please
Cause we belong together
Who am I gonna lean on
When times get rough
Who's gonna talk to me
Till the sun comes up
Who's gonna take your place
There ain't nobody better
Oh baby, baby
We belong together
MoMo last night was totally crowded and packed. The music was good, the place was huge, the crowd was not that nice and it was so sardine-packed i was standing and just swaying most of the time instead of really dancing and grooving to the music. Still, good night nonetheless.
I met many friends there, people i didnt thought i would see and people whom i hope to bump into. Let me try to recall as much as i can who i saw. Jem, Kenneth and i met up at the train station and headed down, met Daniel, saw Celine and Hazel so we headed down to MoMo together. Reached there, saw Jingyang, then Adeline the shortie. Angie and friends came soon after.
In the club, i saw Kenneth from Tao Nan. Oh boy, he slimed down even more! Then i saw Kerson and Marcus, danced together for awhile and they went to get drinks. Ray and his friends were around Celine, Hazel and I so we danced together. Marcel came soon after. Dance dance dance, saw Shun Xiong and JiJi, almost couldnt remember JiJi man. The crowd was really pushy, we had a hard time squeezing in and out of the dance floor. Oh, the toilet was really spacious and comfortable. Like 3 or 4 couches to rest and big full length mirrors. I love it!
I saw Lynn Tan after that, together with Jakiel, Kok Liong, Charleston and friends. Oh and i saw my one and only lucky star, Jeffrey. He was really high and blur by then. Didnt manage to take a picture. Hmm, meet up soon before you go NS ok? * =) Nicky and friends were there too, so was Ang Bin, Weihao and Aik. Oh and i saw Gabriel and his girlfriend.
Cant really remember who else i saw already, despite the huge space i still managed to see so many people, wee!! Towards the end, i was dancing with Celine, Hazel, Kerson, Marcus and some other guys we got to know in the club. Didnt talk much to them though. Kerson, Marcus and I shared a cab home at about 3.30am. I was dead tired and so i gave Sentosa this morning a miss.
Woke up this morning with a shock because i received my results. I thought it would oly be out tomorrow! Okay as expected, i didnt get all As and i was quite disappointed about it. Still, dad felt i already did really well and so i should be glad. Hmm..here's what i got:
Business Finance - A
Computerised Accounting System - B+
Cost & Management Accounting 1 - A
Partnership & Company Accounts - A
Legal Aspects of Business - Distinction
Aight, time to head down to school for dance practice and meet my bestie Shalyn for dinner tonight. Would be meeting Sherman tomorrow for lunch before attending the dance performance help in Hougang. Cant wait to see him, it has been a few long years since we last met!
Oh, have i already mentioned that im totally obsessed with this song?
Mariah Carey - We Belong Together
I didn't mean it
When I said I didn't love you, so
I should have held on tight
I never shoulda let you go
I didn't know nothing
I was stupid, I was foolish
I was lying to myself
I could not fathom that I would ever
Be without your love
Never imagined I'd beSitting here beside myself
Cause I didn't know you
Cause I didn't know me
But I thought I knew everything
I never felt
The feeling that I'm feeling
Now that I don't hear your voice
Or have your touch and kiss your lips
Cause I don't have a choice
Oh, what I wouldn't give
To have you lying by my side
Right here, cause baby(We belong together)
[chorus]
When you left I lost a part of me
It's still so hard to believe
Come back baby, please
Cause we belong together
Who else am I gon' lean on
When times get rough
Who's gonna talk to me on the phone
Till the sun comes up
Who's gonna take your place
There ain't nobody better
Oh, baby baby, we belong together
I can't sleep at night
When you are on my mind
Bobby Womack's on the radio
Saying to me"If you think you're lonely now"
Wait a minute
This is too deep (too deep)
I gotta change the station
So I turn the dial
Trying to catch a break
And then I hear Babyface
"I only think of you"
And it's breaking my heart
I'm trying to keep it together
But I'm falling apart
I'm feeling all out of my element
I'm throwing things, crying
Trying to figure out
Where the hell I went wrong
The pain reflected in this song
It ain't even half of what
I'm feeling insideI need you
Need you back in my life, baby
[chorus]
When you left I lost a part of me
It's still so hard to believe
Come back baby, please
Cause we belong together
Who else am I gon' lean on
When times get rough
Who's gonna talk to me on the phone
Till the sun comes up
Who's gonna take your place
There ain't nobody better
Oh, baby baby, we belong together, baby
[chorus]
When you left I lost a part of me
It's still so hard to believe
Come back baby, please
Cause we belong together
Who am I gonna lean on
When times get rough
Who's gonna talk to me
Till the sun comes up
Who's gonna take your place
There ain't nobody better
Oh baby, baby
We belong together
sealed-with-a-kiss < 4:58:00 pm
___________________________________________
Monday, September 19
> WORST working day ever.
Im super duper tired right now and i gotta wake up at 6am tomorrow but im still gonna type this post because im so super pissed and i swear today is totally not my day.
It was my first day of work back in Ebase Parkway. Im sick but i still turned up cos its not very nice to take MC on the first day. So i was trying my best to serve almost a million customers in my best condition.
I was wearing heels and i had to stand the whole day and my feet is so soar right now. Damn.
I was counting down to 10pm so i could meet Weiquan and be free from all those pains, soaring legs and i was totally famished.
At 9pm, 20 carton of stocks came in when they were supposed to come at about 5.30pm. Thanks man. We started to tally stocks, hang up the new arrivals for the new season, stock out old inventory blah blah blah and my poor boy had to wait till 11+pm when i told him to go home first though i was super unwilling to give our meeting a miss. I didnt know what time i'll finish doing all those stuffs and i wasnt allowed to leave early.
Damn it! Now my moon gazing with Weiquan is ruined and i ended work at 1am. THANKS MAN! They didnt even notify me earlier that i would have to end work late today. And tomorrow, i gotta sign in at 8am to finish up all the undone. Now the whole shop is in an entire mess. Meeting my colleagues at 7.30am for breakfast. KILL ME PLEASE. Thank goodness i stay 10 minutes walk away from Parkway if not i will die!
Oh, have i already said that it was totally not my day? DAMN.
Btw Angie, ive requested to be on leave on Friday, which means...WE CAN GO MOMO ON THURS!! WEEEEEE!!
Im super duper tired right now and i gotta wake up at 6am tomorrow but im still gonna type this post because im so super pissed and i swear today is totally not my day.
It was my first day of work back in Ebase Parkway. Im sick but i still turned up cos its not very nice to take MC on the first day. So i was trying my best to serve almost a million customers in my best condition.
I was wearing heels and i had to stand the whole day and my feet is so soar right now. Damn.
I was counting down to 10pm so i could meet Weiquan and be free from all those pains, soaring legs and i was totally famished.
At 9pm, 20 carton of stocks came in when they were supposed to come at about 5.30pm. Thanks man. We started to tally stocks, hang up the new arrivals for the new season, stock out old inventory blah blah blah and my poor boy had to wait till 11+pm when i told him to go home first though i was super unwilling to give our meeting a miss. I didnt know what time i'll finish doing all those stuffs and i wasnt allowed to leave early.
Damn it! Now my moon gazing with Weiquan is ruined and i ended work at 1am. THANKS MAN! They didnt even notify me earlier that i would have to end work late today. And tomorrow, i gotta sign in at 8am to finish up all the undone. Now the whole shop is in an entire mess. Meeting my colleagues at 7.30am for breakfast. KILL ME PLEASE. Thank goodness i stay 10 minutes walk away from Parkway if not i will die!
Oh, have i already said that it was totally not my day? DAMN.
Btw Angie, ive requested to be on leave on Friday, which means...WE CAN GO MOMO ON THURS!! WEEEEEE!!
sealed-with-a-kiss < 1:45:00 am
___________________________________________
Saturday, September 17
> Grace's 18th birthday.
Thursday was Grace's 18 birthday. As stated many times before in my older posts. We met up at Clarke Quay and had dinner at Quayside Seafood at a freaking cheap rate of $5 per person because of Mr Apple Pie, Suan Deng, who works there and managed to get the 11 of us at a bill of 50% discount. We had cereal prawns, sambal stingray, lemon chicken, fried calamari, you tiao with cuttlefish paste and sambal kangkong. Its so damn cheap and worth it! Oh, we also had Hazelnut cake with courtesy of the barbies!
That's us! Having yummy dinner together.
Oh my barbies!
Myself and Leanne.
Ps: Still waiting for Gena to upload more pictures! *hint
I had to stay outside the club to wait for everyone to collect their tickets from me. The music was quite a turn off especially when 'the book is on the table', 'smoke machine' and 'drive me crazy' started playing in the midst of dancing. Then came 'Mr lonely' near the end. WHAT THE HELL?!
I guess 85% of the people yesterday at Attica Too were from TP and i knew almost about 50% of them personally and another 20% whom ive seen around in school. The club is pretty small actually and the dance floor is quite pathetic. But i still had a great night because the barbies were all so crazily dancing. Damn hot!!
I got pulled up by Rachel to the podium. Must have embarrassed myself terribly. But who cares lah? It must be the booze making me crazy last night. I didnt drink a lot you know. I drank a cup of Vodka Lime, half a jug of Gin Tonic, few mouthfuls of Vodka Sprite (courtesy of Kerson), Screwdriver and Bourbon. Oh wow, i vomitted 3 times in total.
I was moving from group to group dancing like a mad whore. WTH?! Oh anyway, My barbies were so hot! Im so proud of them. LOL. Was dancing with Meiting, Kelvin and Kerson nearing the end. Meiting and I made Kerson and Kelvin kiss!! In exchanged, we kissed too! Kua kua kua. Huat came over to see how i was doing and we started dancing too. DAMN YOU FOR TOUCHING MY WAIST BROTHER! hahaha, i was just kidding. If it were some other people i dont know, your balls would have been smashed. Hiak hiak hiak.
I really couldnt see very clearly last night because i wasnt wearing my spectacles (like who would wear fugly specs out to club?!?!) and it was pretty dark. I took quite a while to realise it was Angeles standing opposite me who said hi. Took quite a while to realise it was Ron who tapped on my shoulder. Took quite a while to realise Sean was in the club too. And also took quite a while to realise who is where and who is who. Okay enough said. I was semi-blind. Period.
Anyway, it was still quite a blast. And im so glad my barbies had such a great time though i knew some of my other friends were damn bored throughout. Iya, dont blame me lah! I was only in charged of selling the tickets what! How would i know how the whole thing would turn out to be?!?!
There's a number of things up my mind now and i finally understood why im still not satisfied about certain things. But i aint gonna come clean with anyone because it wouldnt help much. Im seriously very afraid, afraid of making a choice i will regret. But whatever the case, im thankful for everything.
Oh yes, i had a long night last night but my dear careperson Mr Chan had to call me at 11am to wake me up!! WHAT THE HELL. He said he wants to nominate me to be featured in TP Business Newsletter regarding my hobby about dancing and talk a little about my course, Accounting and Finance. Feeling quite nervous about the interview! Damn. Stress leh!
Thursday was Grace's 18 birthday. As stated many times before in my older posts. We met up at Clarke Quay and had dinner at Quayside Seafood at a freaking cheap rate of $5 per person because of Mr Apple Pie, Suan Deng, who works there and managed to get the 11 of us at a bill of 50% discount. We had cereal prawns, sambal stingray, lemon chicken, fried calamari, you tiao with cuttlefish paste and sambal kangkong. Its so damn cheap and worth it! Oh, we also had Hazelnut cake with courtesy of the barbies!
That's us! Having yummy dinner together.
Oh my barbies!
Myself and Leanne.
Ps: Still waiting for Gena to upload more pictures! *hint
I had to stay outside the club to wait for everyone to collect their tickets from me. The music was quite a turn off especially when 'the book is on the table', 'smoke machine' and 'drive me crazy' started playing in the midst of dancing. Then came 'Mr lonely' near the end. WHAT THE HELL?!
I guess 85% of the people yesterday at Attica Too were from TP and i knew almost about 50% of them personally and another 20% whom ive seen around in school. The club is pretty small actually and the dance floor is quite pathetic. But i still had a great night because the barbies were all so crazily dancing. Damn hot!!
I got pulled up by Rachel to the podium. Must have embarrassed myself terribly. But who cares lah? It must be the booze making me crazy last night. I didnt drink a lot you know. I drank a cup of Vodka Lime, half a jug of Gin Tonic, few mouthfuls of Vodka Sprite (courtesy of Kerson), Screwdriver and Bourbon. Oh wow, i vomitted 3 times in total.
I was moving from group to group dancing like a mad whore. WTH?! Oh anyway, My barbies were so hot! Im so proud of them. LOL. Was dancing with Meiting, Kelvin and Kerson nearing the end. Meiting and I made Kerson and Kelvin kiss!! In exchanged, we kissed too! Kua kua kua. Huat came over to see how i was doing and we started dancing too. DAMN YOU FOR TOUCHING MY WAIST BROTHER! hahaha, i was just kidding. If it were some other people i dont know, your balls would have been smashed. Hiak hiak hiak.
I really couldnt see very clearly last night because i wasnt wearing my spectacles (like who would wear fugly specs out to club?!?!) and it was pretty dark. I took quite a while to realise it was Angeles standing opposite me who said hi. Took quite a while to realise it was Ron who tapped on my shoulder. Took quite a while to realise Sean was in the club too. And also took quite a while to realise who is where and who is who. Okay enough said. I was semi-blind. Period.
Anyway, it was still quite a blast. And im so glad my barbies had such a great time though i knew some of my other friends were damn bored throughout. Iya, dont blame me lah! I was only in charged of selling the tickets what! How would i know how the whole thing would turn out to be?!?!
There's a number of things up my mind now and i finally understood why im still not satisfied about certain things. But i aint gonna come clean with anyone because it wouldnt help much. Im seriously very afraid, afraid of making a choice i will regret. But whatever the case, im thankful for everything.
Oh yes, i had a long night last night but my dear careperson Mr Chan had to call me at 11am to wake me up!! WHAT THE HELL. He said he wants to nominate me to be featured in TP Business Newsletter regarding my hobby about dancing and talk a little about my course, Accounting and Finance. Feeling quite nervous about the interview! Damn. Stress leh!
sealed-with-a-kiss < 12:56:00 am
___________________________________________
Thursday, September 15
> All i wanted, is to get some beauty sleep!
Its freaking annoying when i try to sleep now but i couldnt and i wake up every now and then when i was just about to fall into a deep sleep just to pick up a call or reply an sms. And like what Grace had exactly mentioned in her blog [I have no idea why my eyes will automatically snap open at wee hours of the morning. It's getting irritating when I wake up every morning and see the time and exclaim, "why so early?!"] That's exactly how i felt too.
I woke up at 9.30 am and for goodness sake, i usually wont wake up anytime before 12 noon. Got a shocked when i saw the time and hurried back to catch more beauty sleep. Then i turn and toss and then i fell asleep again. But before i knew it, i opened my eyes and checked the time. Damn! Its only 10am.
My sister was about to go Macs at Parkway to revise for her upcoming promos, so i decided to walk there together to have breakfast since it was a freaking long time since i had breakfast at Macs. It was quite crazy actually. Went to rent some vcds since i foresee that i'll be freaking bored at home during the holidays and to keep myself from spending lavishly, i shall keep myself at home glued to the yellow couch staring at a 72inch rectangular thingy.
I tried to get back to sleep once i got home at about 12 noon but i couldnt so i watched Dirty Dancing 2 and its good. I love the dancing! Could feel that my eyelids were getting heavier so i dragged my fat fugly legs up the stairs and headed back to my room with Ebony running along. Tried to sleep again as usual and ta-dah, im online blogging away randomly at 3.45pm when i slept at 2.30pm. Damn!
I dont wanna feel tired and start yawning at 1am when everyone's high due to the wonders of alchohol and good music in Attica Too. And since im so bored right now, i shall do what Grace had passed on.
THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1) Amber
2) Xuan
3) Xuanny
THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
1) xuannyger
2) baobei (okay this is hilarious)
3) rinoa (like 5 years back! damn.)
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1) tummy
2) eyes (would love it better if its even)
3) cant think of anything else!
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1) enormous carrot legs
2) big butt
3) flat chest. LOL
THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1) flying cockroaches
2) cats
3) losing
THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1) food
2) computer
3) handphone
THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1) the famous FULL OF SH** tee
2) red shorts
3) undies
THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:
1) trust
2) security
3) honesty
and surprises! and love! and communication! and many things else
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE PREFERRED SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1) electrifying pair of eyes
2) sharp nose
3) nice hair
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1) dancing
2) tanning
3) shopping
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1) eat some food
2) talk to my boy
3) go to sleep
THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING/YOU'VE CONSIDERED:
1) air stewardess
2) stockbroker
3) finance manager
THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1) Europe
2) Hawaii
3) Australia
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1) travel around the world
2) tell the people i love how dear they are to me
3) pray for a painful death
THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A BOY:
1) guys are jerks.
2) guys are insensitive.
3) guys never fail to hurt a girl.
THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A GIRL:
1) girls love bitching.
2) girls love to keep grudges.
3) girls love pampering themselves
THREE PEOPLE THAT I WOULD LIKE TO SEE TAKE THIS QUIZ NOW:
1) Shalyn
2) Samantha
3) Emelia
Oh boy, my itchy nose have been itching since 2 days ago. Must be due to insufficient nicotine. But i wouldnt give in! For the sake of my promises made to my boy, i shall try to stay free from smoke. Yes, try. I said TRY! Okay whatever. I just rubbed my nose till i saw blood on the tissue paper. WOW.
Once and again, happy birthday Grace! See ya in a few hours time. I hope i dont get drunk tonight.
Its freaking annoying when i try to sleep now but i couldnt and i wake up every now and then when i was just about to fall into a deep sleep just to pick up a call or reply an sms. And like what Grace had exactly mentioned in her blog [I have no idea why my eyes will automatically snap open at wee hours of the morning. It's getting irritating when I wake up every morning and see the time and exclaim, "why so early?!"] That's exactly how i felt too.
I woke up at 9.30 am and for goodness sake, i usually wont wake up anytime before 12 noon. Got a shocked when i saw the time and hurried back to catch more beauty sleep. Then i turn and toss and then i fell asleep again. But before i knew it, i opened my eyes and checked the time. Damn! Its only 10am.
My sister was about to go Macs at Parkway to revise for her upcoming promos, so i decided to walk there together to have breakfast since it was a freaking long time since i had breakfast at Macs. It was quite crazy actually. Went to rent some vcds since i foresee that i'll be freaking bored at home during the holidays and to keep myself from spending lavishly, i shall keep myself at home glued to the yellow couch staring at a 72inch rectangular thingy.
I tried to get back to sleep once i got home at about 12 noon but i couldnt so i watched Dirty Dancing 2 and its good. I love the dancing! Could feel that my eyelids were getting heavier so i dragged my fat fugly legs up the stairs and headed back to my room with Ebony running along. Tried to sleep again as usual and ta-dah, im online blogging away randomly at 3.45pm when i slept at 2.30pm. Damn!
I dont wanna feel tired and start yawning at 1am when everyone's high due to the wonders of alchohol and good music in Attica Too. And since im so bored right now, i shall do what Grace had passed on.
THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1) Amber
2) Xuan
3) Xuanny
THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
1) xuannyger
2) baobei (okay this is hilarious)
3) rinoa (like 5 years back! damn.)
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1) tummy
2) eyes (would love it better if its even)
3) cant think of anything else!
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1) enormous carrot legs
2) big butt
3) flat chest. LOL
THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1) flying cockroaches
2) cats
3) losing
THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1) food
2) computer
3) handphone
THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1) the famous FULL OF SH** tee
2) red shorts
3) undies
THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:
1) trust
2) security
3) honesty
and surprises! and love! and communication! and many things else
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE PREFERRED SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1) electrifying pair of eyes
2) sharp nose
3) nice hair
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1) dancing
2) tanning
3) shopping
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1) eat some food
2) talk to my boy
3) go to sleep
THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING/YOU'VE CONSIDERED:
1) air stewardess
2) stockbroker
3) finance manager
THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1) Europe
2) Hawaii
3) Australia
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1) travel around the world
2) tell the people i love how dear they are to me
3) pray for a painful death
THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A BOY:
1) guys are jerks.
2) guys are insensitive.
3) guys never fail to hurt a girl.
THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A GIRL:
1) girls love bitching.
2) girls love to keep grudges.
3) girls love pampering themselves
THREE PEOPLE THAT I WOULD LIKE TO SEE TAKE THIS QUIZ NOW:
1) Shalyn
2) Samantha
3) Emelia
Oh boy, my itchy nose have been itching since 2 days ago. Must be due to insufficient nicotine. But i wouldnt give in! For the sake of my promises made to my boy, i shall try to stay free from smoke. Yes, try. I said TRY! Okay whatever. I just rubbed my nose till i saw blood on the tissue paper. WOW.
Once and again, happy birthday Grace! See ya in a few hours time. I hope i dont get drunk tonight.
sealed-with-a-kiss < 3:39:00 pm
___________________________________________
Wednesday, September 14
> Holiday-ing
Yesterday was Barbie's gathering day. Not everyone turned up though. Met the barbies [Grace, Samantha, Leanna, Angie] and ken(?)[Zhiyi and Jeremy + Angie's colleague] in town.
That's myself, Grace, Leanne and Samantha.
Had lunch and then we went shopping. Bought a skirt from Forever 21 at a whooping price of $43. Im totally broke!! HELP! And i reckon i gonna spend more in the next few days. Gonna get my hair some highlights! I wonder if i'll look good that way. Hopefully not too "lian-ish".
Things happened too suddenly, the barbies left. Met Weiquan, Jeffrey, Leroy and Edwin after that and had dinner at Cineleisure. As Samantha was waiting for her mom, she joined us for about an hour or so. Town is damn boring lah, just walked around, browsing through shop by shop and got conned by Leroy to go down to Plaza Singapura when we could actually have a nice chill out session at Starbucks. Left town at about 9pm and Weiquan sent me home. Tiring day!
Today, Denise, Celine and I were supposed to meet up with Weiquan, Edwin, Leroy, Spermy and Bird to work out at the school gym but things cropped up. I was there at 11 but i didnt go to the gym because i had to wait for Denise who finally decided to come, and Delong who had some matters to settle before i can pass him the tickets to Attica tomorrow night. Bahh.
Our main motive was to gym and then hit Edwin's condo for a good tanning session. I think i got a little darker today, but still, not browned enough! Wanna go back there again man and try out the sauna! Dinner after that at Simpang with Edwin, Spermy, Bird and Rene. Another tiring day!
Tomorrow gonna be a great knock out man. I can hardly wait. Celebrating Grace's 18 birthday at Attica! weeeeeeeee. Cant wait cant wait. Shall update more another day after the event is over. Happy advanced birthday Grace! Yay, u can now legally take your driving license!
Was chatting with Kenny in msn a while ago and he sent me a few pictures which i dont even have them my computer now.
Iyoyoyoyoyoy. This was Seconday 2 can!! Can you people even identify me? Damn! That's so freaking long ago thingy. I miss you girlies.
Those were the days. And i dont think i change quite a lot right? Maybe not so "lian" anymore. LOL.
Bahh, memories babe. Feels good to reminisce the past at times aye?
Oh anyway, im going back to work at Ebase Parkway. Starting work this Sunday which happens to be mooncake festival. I so wanna go moon gazing. Hmm...
Yesterday was Barbie's gathering day. Not everyone turned up though. Met the barbies [Grace, Samantha, Leanna, Angie] and ken(?)[Zhiyi and Jeremy + Angie's colleague] in town.
That's myself, Grace, Leanne and Samantha.
Had lunch and then we went shopping. Bought a skirt from Forever 21 at a whooping price of $43. Im totally broke!! HELP! And i reckon i gonna spend more in the next few days. Gonna get my hair some highlights! I wonder if i'll look good that way. Hopefully not too "lian-ish".
Things happened too suddenly, the barbies left. Met Weiquan, Jeffrey, Leroy and Edwin after that and had dinner at Cineleisure. As Samantha was waiting for her mom, she joined us for about an hour or so. Town is damn boring lah, just walked around, browsing through shop by shop and got conned by Leroy to go down to Plaza Singapura when we could actually have a nice chill out session at Starbucks. Left town at about 9pm and Weiquan sent me home. Tiring day!
Today, Denise, Celine and I were supposed to meet up with Weiquan, Edwin, Leroy, Spermy and Bird to work out at the school gym but things cropped up. I was there at 11 but i didnt go to the gym because i had to wait for Denise who finally decided to come, and Delong who had some matters to settle before i can pass him the tickets to Attica tomorrow night. Bahh.
Our main motive was to gym and then hit Edwin's condo for a good tanning session. I think i got a little darker today, but still, not browned enough! Wanna go back there again man and try out the sauna! Dinner after that at Simpang with Edwin, Spermy, Bird and Rene. Another tiring day!
Tomorrow gonna be a great knock out man. I can hardly wait. Celebrating Grace's 18 birthday at Attica! weeeeeeeee. Cant wait cant wait. Shall update more another day after the event is over. Happy advanced birthday Grace! Yay, u can now legally take your driving license!
Was chatting with Kenny in msn a while ago and he sent me a few pictures which i dont even have them my computer now.
Iyoyoyoyoyoy. This was Seconday 2 can!! Can you people even identify me? Damn! That's so freaking long ago thingy. I miss you girlies.
Those were the days. And i dont think i change quite a lot right? Maybe not so "lian" anymore. LOL.
Bahh, memories babe. Feels good to reminisce the past at times aye?
Oh anyway, im going back to work at Ebase Parkway. Starting work this Sunday which happens to be mooncake festival. I so wanna go moon gazing. Hmm...
sealed-with-a-kiss < 8:23:00 pm
___________________________________________
Monday, September 12
> a rough moment
Im depressed, im upset, im disappointed. There's so many things revolving around my thoughts and i cant seem to make things work out well. Sometimes, i hate myself for trying to be a perfectionist. I expect so much from myself, even more from others. I expect to be the best, to have the best, to be perfect and have everything perfect. But the fearful truth is that nothing is perfect, and no one is perfect. I have flaws, you have flaws, he has flaws and everyone else have flaws. I feel that im expecting too much, im thinking too much, im demanding too much.
I felt very empty last night, i was moody, i was temperamental. I should be contented that i've got my pretty boy, but yet it seems like its not enough. I feel a gap between us, a gap i dont know how to mend and fill up with. Since young, i always expect people to change for me, to do things for me so i could be myself. To have a dominant self, to be the ruler, the in charge. I was selfish, i dont think for others but myself.
Now i feel a need to change, and ive been changing since i was in higher secondary. I tried to be very understanding, to put myself in your shoes and accept you for who you are because loving somebody is all about accepting their strengths and flaws. You're already to me, a close to perfect boyfriend material. You're someone i can ever hope for, you're the guy ive been waiting for, the guy ive been talking to God about. Now that he gave me you, im still not satisfied. WHY?! I hate myself, hate myself because im never satisfied. I always want more, more more and more!
Im so sorry boy, i made you upset last night. I didnt mean to make you hurt, didnt mean to make you feel the way you felt. Im sorry boy, i should be even more understanding, i should be even more thoughtful.
Maybe because everything started off at the wrong track, we expressed our feelings for each other too early just because we're afraid of losing one another. We skipped the whole in between process and went straight to the end. I dont know if this is good or bad, and i dont even dare to think about what our future may bring. But i have low confidence in myself, cos nothing good comes out everytime i try ot make it work.
Maybe we should try to get to know each other even better, even closer and be even more comfortable. Boy, i just wish you'll ask me out more often, give me more surprises cos i love it to the max. I wanna see you more often, cos one day without the sight of you makes my heart grow fonder for they say 'absence makes the heart grow fonder'.
You know you're an eye candy of so many, i feel so stressful. But yet i know, i can fully trust and depend on you. Boy, please give me your ultimate trust too. You know that you're just as important to me, and you're the one person that i love and i dont wanna love anyone else but you.
Maybe im just thinking too much into things, everything is going on well and smooth. Im just expecting too much. Gotta incessantly remind myself that i gotta learn to be satisfied. You're already a wonderful gift to me from God, and i ought to be happy with what i have - you. Having you is already the best thing that can ever happen to me. I feel that i dont deserve a wonderful guy like you, i feel that im not good enough for you. I feel inferior, i feel lousy. But its you that made me feel blessed. I was so delighted when u said you wouldnt wanna know what my past is, and i truly thank God for you. ilu, my pretty boy.
Im depressed, im upset, im disappointed. There's so many things revolving around my thoughts and i cant seem to make things work out well. Sometimes, i hate myself for trying to be a perfectionist. I expect so much from myself, even more from others. I expect to be the best, to have the best, to be perfect and have everything perfect. But the fearful truth is that nothing is perfect, and no one is perfect. I have flaws, you have flaws, he has flaws and everyone else have flaws. I feel that im expecting too much, im thinking too much, im demanding too much.
I felt very empty last night, i was moody, i was temperamental. I should be contented that i've got my pretty boy, but yet it seems like its not enough. I feel a gap between us, a gap i dont know how to mend and fill up with. Since young, i always expect people to change for me, to do things for me so i could be myself. To have a dominant self, to be the ruler, the in charge. I was selfish, i dont think for others but myself.
Now i feel a need to change, and ive been changing since i was in higher secondary. I tried to be very understanding, to put myself in your shoes and accept you for who you are because loving somebody is all about accepting their strengths and flaws. You're already to me, a close to perfect boyfriend material. You're someone i can ever hope for, you're the guy ive been waiting for, the guy ive been talking to God about. Now that he gave me you, im still not satisfied. WHY?! I hate myself, hate myself because im never satisfied. I always want more, more more and more!
Im so sorry boy, i made you upset last night. I didnt mean to make you hurt, didnt mean to make you feel the way you felt. Im sorry boy, i should be even more understanding, i should be even more thoughtful.
Maybe because everything started off at the wrong track, we expressed our feelings for each other too early just because we're afraid of losing one another. We skipped the whole in between process and went straight to the end. I dont know if this is good or bad, and i dont even dare to think about what our future may bring. But i have low confidence in myself, cos nothing good comes out everytime i try ot make it work.
Maybe we should try to get to know each other even better, even closer and be even more comfortable. Boy, i just wish you'll ask me out more often, give me more surprises cos i love it to the max. I wanna see you more often, cos one day without the sight of you makes my heart grow fonder for they say 'absence makes the heart grow fonder'.
You know you're an eye candy of so many, i feel so stressful. But yet i know, i can fully trust and depend on you. Boy, please give me your ultimate trust too. You know that you're just as important to me, and you're the one person that i love and i dont wanna love anyone else but you.
Maybe im just thinking too much into things, everything is going on well and smooth. Im just expecting too much. Gotta incessantly remind myself that i gotta learn to be satisfied. You're already a wonderful gift to me from God, and i ought to be happy with what i have - you. Having you is already the best thing that can ever happen to me. I feel that i dont deserve a wonderful guy like you, i feel that im not good enough for you. I feel inferior, i feel lousy. But its you that made me feel blessed. I was so delighted when u said you wouldnt wanna know what my past is, and i truly thank God for you. ilu, my pretty boy.
sealed-with-a-kiss < 12:13:00 pm
___________________________________________
> Loving my holidays to bits.
Yesterday was a great day spent in Sentosa with my beaches. LOL. what a name, but oh well. Left the place sharing cab with Spermy as he was rushing down to work at East Coast. Took a bus home and waited for JingYang to cycle all the way from Yio Chu Kang to my place and we walked to East Coast for dinner. His friend, Andre, was there too. Had our dinner and he left for his class chalet while i met Rachel and Ben to chill.
Ben wanted to watch soccer so we chilled at the kopitiam. What sia! But well, Ben showed lotsa magic tricks with his poker card while i showed one which totally impressed him and Rachel. Im good!! Oh oh, i met Belvis too cos he was at East Coast doing duty or something. I so miss him! Havent seen each other for years man.
Today was another great day spent. I met my bestie at Suntec for i wanted to look for jobs. Went for interview at Xcessories and Adidas. Then again, i think im most prolly going back to Ebase cos the pay is good and ive experienced there. But yet, i dont wish to cos i dont like the clothes there. *grumbles grumbles Ah Jo said they need people. So, i guess i'll go back if i cant find a job elsewhere. lol.
Lyn and i had dinner at SiamKitchen. Their Thai food is wonderful! Especially the chicken wrapped in pandan leave and the yummy green curry Marcel recommended at Harbourfront foodcourt. The mango salad is good too, not forgetting the pineapple fried rice and sambal kangkong. And the total meal added up to only $30+. It was quite a steal. We left the place feeling so full and bloated and we didnt even finish up our food. Yumyum! I wanna go there for Thai cuisine again.
Shopping at Bugis aftermath. Bought a belt for only 10 bucks. What a steal! And this brown top that caught my eye and i knew i've gotta get it no matter what.
Made a bargain and it cost me only 22 bucks. What a steal! Weeeee I love shopping.
It was so long since Lyn and i met up and we had so much catching up to do. Thank God this friendship, though drifted, had managed to draw closer again. Thanks lynnie, for not giving up on it. I hope this holidays would bring us back even closer than before. I'll never give up on this little gift sent from heaven because you're my bestie, and you always will. Dont you know that i've always loved you? LOL.
Lyn and I
Love you my bestie!
Yesterday was a great day spent in Sentosa with my beaches. LOL. what a name, but oh well. Left the place sharing cab with Spermy as he was rushing down to work at East Coast. Took a bus home and waited for JingYang to cycle all the way from Yio Chu Kang to my place and we walked to East Coast for dinner. His friend, Andre, was there too. Had our dinner and he left for his class chalet while i met Rachel and Ben to chill.
Ben wanted to watch soccer so we chilled at the kopitiam. What sia! But well, Ben showed lotsa magic tricks with his poker card while i showed one which totally impressed him and Rachel. Im good!! Oh oh, i met Belvis too cos he was at East Coast doing duty or something. I so miss him! Havent seen each other for years man.
Today was another great day spent. I met my bestie at Suntec for i wanted to look for jobs. Went for interview at Xcessories and Adidas. Then again, i think im most prolly going back to Ebase cos the pay is good and ive experienced there. But yet, i dont wish to cos i dont like the clothes there. *grumbles grumbles Ah Jo said they need people. So, i guess i'll go back if i cant find a job elsewhere. lol.
Lyn and i had dinner at SiamKitchen. Their Thai food is wonderful! Especially the chicken wrapped in pandan leave and the yummy green curry Marcel recommended at Harbourfront foodcourt. The mango salad is good too, not forgetting the pineapple fried rice and sambal kangkong. And the total meal added up to only $30+. It was quite a steal. We left the place feeling so full and bloated and we didnt even finish up our food. Yumyum! I wanna go there for Thai cuisine again.
Shopping at Bugis aftermath. Bought a belt for only 10 bucks. What a steal! And this brown top that caught my eye and i knew i've gotta get it no matter what.
Made a bargain and it cost me only 22 bucks. What a steal! Weeeee I love shopping.
It was so long since Lyn and i met up and we had so much catching up to do. Thank God this friendship, though drifted, had managed to draw closer again. Thanks lynnie, for not giving up on it. I hope this holidays would bring us back even closer than before. I'll never give up on this little gift sent from heaven because you're my bestie, and you always will. Dont you know that i've always loved you? LOL.
Lyn and I
Love you my bestie!
sealed-with-a-kiss < 12:19:00 am
___________________________________________
Friday, September 9
> Start of my holiday madness.
Weeeeeeeeee. Feel my sense of joy, feel my happiness, feel the freedom being received with two hands. Examinations are finally over!! To hell with the 2.1 stuffs! Whats on my mind now is fun, party, shopping, dance, mahjong, movies, dining, supper, chill, beach, tanning, slumber party, knock out bash and the list can go on forever. Best time of my life man. But, im gonna look for a job, so i'll prolly be tied down to working. Not much of leisure time afterall. Who cares.
After the paper today, the barbies took crazy pictures outside the classroom before a few of us (Grace, Samantha, Gena and I) went for lunch at Swensens before screaming our lungs out at Kbox with Angie and Jeremy as well. I sang really high pitched today lah. Like finally, i miss singing so damn much! I used to go ktv sessions with the usuals like every week, sometimes 2 times a week. Oh i love it. Though i cant sing for nuts, nobody really cares lah.
After singing, i headed down to town to meet Weiquan. Walked around, like literally walked around. lol. Then we decided to just sit at the couch upstairs of Cineleisure, chill and chat. Left the place at about 9pm and he sent me home. =)Oh what a day spent after 2 weeks of intensive mugging. Fear not man, im just tired today and its only the start of my woohoo holiday madness.
Tomorrow im heading down to my second home. Sentosa! Island life i love it~ Weeeeeeeeee LIke super finally? I wanna be nicely browned and have great fun. Redang plans might have to be cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances. *grumbles grumbles And Thailand trip might not be on because of certain reasons *grumbles grumbles grumbles But i guess this 2 full months of holidays should be able to be of great fun.
Anyhoos, Happy anniversary my bestie Lyn and best friend Kev. Happy 3 years and 9 months and counting, walking towards eternity. Yum seng!
Weeeeeeeeee. Feel my sense of joy, feel my happiness, feel the freedom being received with two hands. Examinations are finally over!! To hell with the 2.1 stuffs! Whats on my mind now is fun, party, shopping, dance, mahjong, movies, dining, supper, chill, beach, tanning, slumber party, knock out bash and the list can go on forever. Best time of my life man. But, im gonna look for a job, so i'll prolly be tied down to working. Not much of leisure time afterall. Who cares.
After the paper today, the barbies took crazy pictures outside the classroom before a few of us (Grace, Samantha, Gena and I) went for lunch at Swensens before screaming our lungs out at Kbox with Angie and Jeremy as well. I sang really high pitched today lah. Like finally, i miss singing so damn much! I used to go ktv sessions with the usuals like every week, sometimes 2 times a week. Oh i love it. Though i cant sing for nuts, nobody really cares lah.
After singing, i headed down to town to meet Weiquan. Walked around, like literally walked around. lol. Then we decided to just sit at the couch upstairs of Cineleisure, chill and chat. Left the place at about 9pm and he sent me home. =)Oh what a day spent after 2 weeks of intensive mugging. Fear not man, im just tired today and its only the start of my woohoo holiday madness.
Tomorrow im heading down to my second home. Sentosa! Island life i love it~ Weeeeeeeeee LIke super finally? I wanna be nicely browned and have great fun. Redang plans might have to be cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances. *grumbles grumbles And Thailand trip might not be on because of certain reasons *grumbles grumbles grumbles But i guess this 2 full months of holidays should be able to be of great fun.
Anyhoos, Happy anniversary my bestie Lyn and best friend Kev. Happy 3 years and 9 months and counting, walking towards eternity. Yum seng!
sealed-with-a-kiss < 10:08:00 pm
___________________________________________
Thursday, September 8
> Physically + mentally + emotionally tortured = exams.
I know i should be studying for CAS which happens to be the last paper tomorrow. Throughout the study week, i only read through part of it once with no proper understanding nor even trying to remember the neverending theories of the different topics. Its 8.45pm and i have less than 5 hours to study everything. I told my mom that i might not even wanna turn up for that damn paper because im really drained and jaded from all those mugging for the past 2 weeks. Its really taking its toll on me and it became so unbearable i feel like just shutting up my mind and sit on the couch, stare at the rectangular box with flashy images, do nothing and think of nothing.
It became a well known fact that CAS is all about theory and memorising and memorising and memorising and more memorising. But im so mentally tired that i dont have the strength to even read through my notes. Talk about memorising them. No matter how hard i try to put all those theories up my brain and store it there, it seems like i'll never be able to do so in like what, 3 hours? Damn. Its gonna be 9pm! And im still sitting here in front of another rectangular box whining and procrastinating? Damn u Amber, get a hold of yourself and be strong before you sweep the DHL cert goodbye. Farking shit, im totally stressed out.
The one thing i would like to do now is scream and shout and swear on top of my voice and get rid of all the stress accumulated and rooted up on my mind. I wanna blast punk rock music in my winamp and bang my head on the wall according to the beat. I wanna cut myself up and see blood flowing through my veins, that's if i manage to not faint due to excessive blood loss.
No idea why, but there's this sudden urge to physically torture myself since ive already successfully mentally tortured my soul. I know this sounds crazy, and no, im no sadist. But i think im a little too crazy to think straight now because everything is driving me crazy. Every single thing.
Oh great, mood swing is back again. I was talking to Kelvin on the phone in the evening, with a very cheerful voice, singing and laughing and giggling and i dont know what else but after a while, my voice started to change. I started feeling moody and crappy and emotionally disturbed. I sounded boring, my voice was soft and i was not focused on what he's saying and so we hung up. I hate mood swings.
And i dont know just exactly what im trying to conclude from this very very random thought. The more i whine and procrastinate now, i know just what's gonna happen later after midnight. I'll start to go crazy, acting like a spoilt bitch and grumble like a grouchy old maid to my boy who wouldnt know what to do but ask me to go to sleep. That's exactly what i know is gonna happen and why aint i doing anything to stop it from happening? Damn you Amber, WAKE UP!
I feel like shutting myself in a box, fasten and secure it with tons and tons of masking tape and say goodbye world, may i not see you again.
I know i should be studying for CAS which happens to be the last paper tomorrow. Throughout the study week, i only read through part of it once with no proper understanding nor even trying to remember the neverending theories of the different topics. Its 8.45pm and i have less than 5 hours to study everything. I told my mom that i might not even wanna turn up for that damn paper because im really drained and jaded from all those mugging for the past 2 weeks. Its really taking its toll on me and it became so unbearable i feel like just shutting up my mind and sit on the couch, stare at the rectangular box with flashy images, do nothing and think of nothing.
It became a well known fact that CAS is all about theory and memorising and memorising and memorising and more memorising. But im so mentally tired that i dont have the strength to even read through my notes. Talk about memorising them. No matter how hard i try to put all those theories up my brain and store it there, it seems like i'll never be able to do so in like what, 3 hours? Damn. Its gonna be 9pm! And im still sitting here in front of another rectangular box whining and procrastinating? Damn u Amber, get a hold of yourself and be strong before you sweep the DHL cert goodbye. Farking shit, im totally stressed out.
The one thing i would like to do now is scream and shout and swear on top of my voice and get rid of all the stress accumulated and rooted up on my mind. I wanna blast punk rock music in my winamp and bang my head on the wall according to the beat. I wanna cut myself up and see blood flowing through my veins, that's if i manage to not faint due to excessive blood loss.
No idea why, but there's this sudden urge to physically torture myself since ive already successfully mentally tortured my soul. I know this sounds crazy, and no, im no sadist. But i think im a little too crazy to think straight now because everything is driving me crazy. Every single thing.
Oh great, mood swing is back again. I was talking to Kelvin on the phone in the evening, with a very cheerful voice, singing and laughing and giggling and i dont know what else but after a while, my voice started to change. I started feeling moody and crappy and emotionally disturbed. I sounded boring, my voice was soft and i was not focused on what he's saying and so we hung up. I hate mood swings.
And i dont know just exactly what im trying to conclude from this very very random thought. The more i whine and procrastinate now, i know just what's gonna happen later after midnight. I'll start to go crazy, acting like a spoilt bitch and grumble like a grouchy old maid to my boy who wouldnt know what to do but ask me to go to sleep. That's exactly what i know is gonna happen and why aint i doing anything to stop it from happening? Damn you Amber, WAKE UP!
I feel like shutting myself in a box, fasten and secure it with tons and tons of masking tape and say goodbye world, may i not see you again.
sealed-with-a-kiss < 8:44:00 pm
___________________________________________
Saturday, September 3
>
Today's Forecast
A special bond between you and a certain someone grows deeper with even the most minimal efforts from either of you. It's times like this that makes your current relationship seem absolutely magical. Enjoy it to the hilt.
This is what i saw from friendster horoscope thingy. Lol. How true can it be? Quite i guess, loving every single minute.
Right now im still at Hengkai's house trying very hard to study. Am currently in a dilemma actually. Snag magazine had chosen me to be their covergirl for the second issue out in October but i've to be in bikini. Gawd, no way! I dont mind taking the shoot if given wearing more clothes. LOL. Bikini on the cover, who else would buy the magazine man!?!
Taking a breather now, gonna hit the books after i have a good chat with my silly boy. lol.
Today's Forecast
A special bond between you and a certain someone grows deeper with even the most minimal efforts from either of you. It's times like this that makes your current relationship seem absolutely magical. Enjoy it to the hilt.
This is what i saw from friendster horoscope thingy. Lol. How true can it be? Quite i guess, loving every single minute.
Right now im still at Hengkai's house trying very hard to study. Am currently in a dilemma actually. Snag magazine had chosen me to be their covergirl for the second issue out in October but i've to be in bikini. Gawd, no way! I dont mind taking the shoot if given wearing more clothes. LOL. Bikini on the cover, who else would buy the magazine man!?!
Taking a breather now, gonna hit the books after i have a good chat with my silly boy. lol.
sealed-with-a-kiss < 12:56:00 am
___________________________________________
Friday, September 2
> Time = money
I still cant accept the harsh fact that today is already the Friday. And i cant accept an even harsher fact i only have 3 more full days to revise for my very incomplete revision. Back then when i was studying for my Year 1 final examinations, i didnt have much of this problem. Time usually aint the issue, memorising and remembering was. Now, i dont even have the time to complete my revision. WHY!!
Then i think back, my year 1 subjects may not be THAT easy, but it was definately much easier than what im taking now. Principles of Management, Organisational Behaviour, Micro/Macro economics, Business Statistics, they are so freaking simple (at least to me) and all i need was just one day and i can fully understand everything at my fingertips. Now? Take a look at Cost & Management Accounting and Partnership & Company Accounts, i need about 3 days or more for each subject and i have 3 more other subjects to mug for. Help me please, im really desperate for time.
Ive yet to even start on my revision for CAS and Finance is only so-so, barely there. I aim for straight As this time round and i really hope i'll manage to score straight As since my coursework has 4As and a B+. But yet i know if i really scored straight As i still wouldnt be happy, i want at least one or two distinctions too. Im so not satisfied. But second term stuffs are too much for me. Im totally lost and i havent been consistent with my work since after the term break. How much i regret now.
Stop whining Amber, its already 11am, time to whack the books and study till midnight. I promise myself im going to give myself ample amount of time to rest and party after the examinations. Redang here i come! Thailand here i come! And club club club, dance dance dance. Oh, and a knock out party with the Barbies. Meet all my friends whom i havent met for a long time for a good shopping spree (ignoring the fact that im totally broke). I can hardly wait!
Tata Young - Call Him Mine
I can call him mine
It was only a matter of time
Before I got tired of your ways
I tried to make you fire,
But you were only ice
And you didn't seem to wanna change
So then I looked at someone new
And he was looking back at me too
Saw that I was hurt
Knew just what to say
Knew just how to push the pain away
You know I need stability
And you know you can't give it to me
Chorus
My sun may never rise the way it did with you,
And he may never kiss me the way that you'd do
But at least he makes me feel like a part of his life
At least he doesn't make me cry
I know I can call him mine
Though when I call him on the phone
I never feel butterflies
I know that I can trust
He'll always give me love
And I know mine will grow for him in time
He tells me that I'm beautiful
And I never ever heard that from you
He doesn't cause me pain
Tears falling like the rain
And though I'm still in love with you
You know I need stability
(Chorus)
It wasn't easy letting go but I know that I had to think of the long run and say goodbye
And find someone who appreciates me even though even though...
My sun may never rise the way it did with you
And he may never ever kiss me the way that you'd do, that you'd do...
(Chorus)
The sun may never rise again like it did with you
And he may never ever kiss me the way you'd do
But at least he makes me feel like I'm part of his life
He doesn't make me cry
Doesn't make me cry
He doesn't make me cry
I know I can call him mine
I still cant accept the harsh fact that today is already the Friday. And i cant accept an even harsher fact i only have 3 more full days to revise for my very incomplete revision. Back then when i was studying for my Year 1 final examinations, i didnt have much of this problem. Time usually aint the issue, memorising and remembering was. Now, i dont even have the time to complete my revision. WHY!!
Then i think back, my year 1 subjects may not be THAT easy, but it was definately much easier than what im taking now. Principles of Management, Organisational Behaviour, Micro/Macro economics, Business Statistics, they are so freaking simple (at least to me) and all i need was just one day and i can fully understand everything at my fingertips. Now? Take a look at Cost & Management Accounting and Partnership & Company Accounts, i need about 3 days or more for each subject and i have 3 more other subjects to mug for. Help me please, im really desperate for time.
Ive yet to even start on my revision for CAS and Finance is only so-so, barely there. I aim for straight As this time round and i really hope i'll manage to score straight As since my coursework has 4As and a B+. But yet i know if i really scored straight As i still wouldnt be happy, i want at least one or two distinctions too. Im so not satisfied. But second term stuffs are too much for me. Im totally lost and i havent been consistent with my work since after the term break. How much i regret now.
Stop whining Amber, its already 11am, time to whack the books and study till midnight. I promise myself im going to give myself ample amount of time to rest and party after the examinations. Redang here i come! Thailand here i come! And club club club, dance dance dance. Oh, and a knock out party with the Barbies. Meet all my friends whom i havent met for a long time for a good shopping spree (ignoring the fact that im totally broke). I can hardly wait!
Tata Young - Call Him Mine
I can call him mine
It was only a matter of time
Before I got tired of your ways
I tried to make you fire,
But you were only ice
And you didn't seem to wanna change
So then I looked at someone new
And he was looking back at me too
Saw that I was hurt
Knew just what to say
Knew just how to push the pain away
You know I need stability
And you know you can't give it to me
Chorus
My sun may never rise the way it did with you,
And he may never kiss me the way that you'd do
But at least he makes me feel like a part of his life
At least he doesn't make me cry
I know I can call him mine
Though when I call him on the phone
I never feel butterflies
I know that I can trust
He'll always give me love
And I know mine will grow for him in time
He tells me that I'm beautiful
And I never ever heard that from you
He doesn't cause me pain
Tears falling like the rain
And though I'm still in love with you
You know I need stability
(Chorus)
It wasn't easy letting go but I know that I had to think of the long run and say goodbye
And find someone who appreciates me even though even though...
My sun may never rise the way it did with you
And he may never ever kiss me the way that you'd do, that you'd do...
(Chorus)
The sun may never rise again like it did with you
And he may never ever kiss me the way you'd do
But at least he makes me feel like I'm part of his life
He doesn't make me cry
Doesn't make me cry
He doesn't make me cry
I know I can call him mine
sealed-with-a-kiss < 10:48:00 am
___________________________________________
* yours truly.
amber.ruoxuan\\twenty\
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20051987\\single\\operations analyst @ credit suisse\\friendster*
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